i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
