Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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