Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
