ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
