She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He told me they were just razor bumps!
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
