I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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