once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
