Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
