umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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