Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize