I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
