just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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