You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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