Im at strip club and am horny
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize