Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
