it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
