i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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