just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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