Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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