Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
