ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
my being single is dangerous.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
