i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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