The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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