dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
