It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
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