kristin has been a bad kristin
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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