hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
