She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
