Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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