Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize