This is not my ceiling
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
