Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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