Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
vagina is talking i cant
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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