I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
