it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
