I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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