The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
