Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Randomize
