she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
