it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
