So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
