i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize