he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
