Non-Jews are for practice
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He did a backflip because drugs
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
