Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
