You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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