are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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