First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
