She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize