You were right. It hurts to walk today.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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