actually, I'm a sock model
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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