had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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