I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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