Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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