he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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