Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I came so hard my ears popped.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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