Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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