i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
