i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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