I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
