your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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