Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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