We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Randomize
