More tranny stories later!
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
