i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
