White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
