They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
