I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize