He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
