Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
