Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
