he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
