so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
