how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
