I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
