I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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