Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
