I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
