I feel like abortions should bother me more
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
