Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
