Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My Sexting was not on an AP level
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
