So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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