I got chris browned last night
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
